Monday, June 28, 2010

The review: Why men love Bitches- by Sherry Argov

First off-- don't be put off by the title.

A bitch in this book is an "endearing word for a woman who is polite but communicates directly with a man as humans do...". Yeah, I stayed awake most of the night reading "Why men love Bitches". I was fascinated by the synopsis and reviews... and when I finally read it...I was blown away (not literary). I said to myself, if this is a manual of how things ought to be, then some of us are in big trouble... Honestly, I find the ideas very interesting and most of the points raised made a lot of sense.

However, I do not entirely agree that we should start changing who we are because some men prefer it when we are the "hot chase" and they the hot chasers.

Why, maybe it is about time someone flip the coin over and tell the story differently-- women should not always be the ones to bend-over and change their skin to be accepted. If a man cannot accept a nice sensible girl then let him keep chasing the bitches. Oh well, the book is not asking women to bend-over or change their skin at all!

I like how Argov define the term Bitch:
Bitch (noun)- A woman who won't bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion--be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance. she doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards- only her own. Because of this she relates to man very differently.

She gave about twenty-seven (27) principles on how to rise from being a doormat to a dream girl-- My favourite include: "If you tell him you are not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he will set out to try to change your mind". Have you met these kind of women chasers? The moment they hear one is not interested they don't relent until they win you over-- and God help you on how you decide to handle it, the "nice girl" way or the "Bitch" aura. The author explains the difference between the two.

Also, "If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else" a nutshell, don't spend your time obsessing or fretting over a man... "act like a prize and you'll turn him into a believer"

"A bitch gives a man plenty of space so he doesn't fear being trapped in a cage. Then... he set out to trap her in his".

"Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants upfront, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it" And after giving him sex, he would just let himself chase after the next hottie on the block...

"Anytime a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself..." Is that true ladies out there?

"Why men love bitches" is not just a book filled with dos and don'ts. I appreciate how the author backs each point up with a good illustration/real stories readers can connect to. This made me buy a copy of the book as a birthday gift for a friend, with the hope that she will learn the lessons worth learning from it before she launch into her first relationship. I am not recommending that we follow all the rules in the book religiously, just read, understand and learn from the real life stories shared. As the saying goes, experience is the best teacher, this include learning from the experiences of others.

One of my friends, while signing a book he got me for my birthday wrote "...grow more to be a Proverbs 31 woman NOT a BITCH!!!" I would have expected him to admit that men really love Bitches.

Another man, after reading the book, wrote on "As a man who read this book, I have a new understanding of how and why my last girlfriend acted the way she did. She must have read this book! I have to say, I chased after her, just like the book says a man will do if you follow the rules it describes. But, (and this is a big BUT), eventually, I got tired of chasing her. Eventually I came to the huge realization that I didn't want to live the rest of my life this way, under her thumb, with her making all the rules for our relationship. Women have put up with men that act this way, and it drives you crazy, doesn't it? Don't you hate it when a guy doesn't call and acts like other things are more important than you are? This book could just as well have been written for men, and been titled, "Why Women Love Jerks'...if everyone, men and women alike, followed the rules contained in it, this world would be full of a lot of single people."

The book teaches that women should stop obsessing over men. It also teaches the importance of being strong and independent...em...em...but not arrogant? :) The author reaffirmed the need for women never to feel threatened by the "beauty" of other women-- competing diminishes your value before a man.

Go ahead, buy a copy of the book. Whether you choose to remain the "Bitch" or "The nice girl" after reading the book, learn to maintain a good sense of humor, liberate your soul and treat your body like a temple.

I love Natasha Bedingfield's song "Say it again" But reading "Why men love Bitches" and listening to the song... makes my stomach tie in a knot! Oh the joy or pain of womanhood!


"Say It Again"

No need to translate,
'cause my eyes give me away,
Even though my lips don't say..

This should be so easy,
But my head gets in the way,
All the things that I want to tell you.

You're the most perfect yet,
Most definitely that i've met,
And I wonder if you know that's how I feel about you.
I hope you know..

'cause I have so much love for you.
Do with it what you will..
And I have nothing more to prove,
Say to me what you will..
Say, say it again.

Not enough lovers in life to go around
But there's you and me,
If we don't start it out.. mmmm..
It's not hard to let go
Enough to let me in.
If it's meant to be,
It can only be good.

You're the most perfect fit,
Most definitely that i've met,
And I hope that you feel the same way too
About me.. just let me know..

'cause I have so much love for you,
Do with it what you will..
And I have nothing more to prove.
Say to me what you will..
Say, say it again..

Can you take it from me?
If I give, can you receive?
I'm reaching out,
Giving everything.
I give you my heart, I give you my soul,
I give you it all..

'cause I have so much love for you,
Do with it what you will..
And I have nothing more to prove.
Say to me what you will..
Say, say it again..

Monday, June 21, 2010

Reading the Onion...

I used to be an avid reader of the Onion. I find their story very interesting. And yeah, I believed every story I read there too when I first moved to D.C. for Atlas Fellowship. Until I read one edition that featured a story about President Obama cursing at some teenage girls. I was horrified. “How is this possible?” I asked my colleagues. It was then I was saved from my ignorance. One of my colleagues told me that it was a not real… the content of the newspaper was all a joke.

Important and news worthy events are riddle with unusual humorous writing style-the Onion drips with sarcasm in every of its report. The stories are not for the faint heart. No wonder they state it on their website that the newspaper is not intended for people under 18years have to be mature enough to digest the content right. As Cuthbert Zweibel, VP of Client Relations of The Onion explained in his PR release: “… please keep in mind that the Onion is not like other newspapers. We do not bow to ignorant and self-righteous notions of censorship. We don't knuckle under to pressure from the community unless it is sufficiently profitable. In short, we refuse to be manipulated, and we absolutely refuse to be stupid. There is also an excellent chance we harbor intense hatred for our readers.”

The Onion newspaper is “America’s finest news source”. With 2,251,643 followers on Twitter, you have no argument about how much people actually read it.

It is a newspaper for the sad eyes. When feeling depressed by CNN news burst and the almost non-stop trickles of bad news on the normal media, pick up something unusual- read a copy of the Onion newspaper and celebrate the Press Freedom in the US. But remember, you are not to fall for the stories hook, line and sinker. But allow them crack you up. As you flip from page to page, you might find tears welling up your eyes because of the ridiculousness of the stories. Like a cut onion, it will bring tears to your eyes. And yes, the copies are FREE!

Don't substitute it for your regular news story.